Listening

by Erin

A baby whines and cries and screams as his mother tries to rock him back to a soothed state; the bass of the long-haired rocker harmonizes with the vocalist’s harsh cadenza of low and excruciating high notes; the silent night pairs with a cricket croaking in the garden and branches brushing against the window. These are a few simple pleasures that we love to indulge into, allowing our ear’s attention to linger on the sounds.

Hearing is a puzzle piece in our web of senses; but listening is a completely different game. Seeing is not enjoying a sunset, relaxing and paying attention to the beauty that our eyes allow us to see; that is watching. Touching is not wrapping ourselves in a soft blanket while petting the dog; that is feeling. Tasting is not eating a chocolate truffle, as we close our eyes and “mmm” and revel in the rich sweetness that floods around our tongue; that is savoring. What makes the simple senses of seeing, touching, and tasting different from watching, feeling, and savoring is that the senses are single acts of noticing something while the latter is appreciating what you observe. So when it comes to listening, just knowing that a sound is being produced will not suffice.

The pre-requisites for listening are patience and an open-mind. Without these, you are doing nothing more than hearing. In order to listen during a conversation, you must take in the words being said, apply meaning to the words and put them in context, comprehend them, analyze them, and form opinions to them. Only then are you prepared to respond once the other is finished. Without this process, a conversation is merely blabbing about unrelated subjects every time it switches speakers. Patience is needed to allow whatever you are listening to to come to a close. An open-mind is needed to stop your mind from wandering; once we listen to something that we have a preconceived opinion about, we automatically block out the sound and begin hearing instead of listening. Then, responding would be unjustified.

The word “listening” typically triggers one word in most minds: music. Music is the most acknowledged thing that we listen to. The melodious character of music is expressed in different genres. Different genres appeal to different people. The experience of listening to music is a harmonious blending of personal relatable experiences with the soul of the music. A slow song, full of snapping violins, a tinkling piano, a crescendoing guitar, and a deep raspy voice digs into the feeling of regret, passion, despair, and wanting. While we listen to music, we translate the beats and rhythms into emotions and sensations.

El Tango de Roxanne - Ewan McGregor/Jacek Koman/José Feliciano

The strongest memory I have of listening involved very little sound at all. I was awaiting a phone call that determined whether or not I would be cast in a stage production. Those 27 minutes sitting near the phone were spent in near silence. While anticipating the sharp repetitive chime of my telephone, I decided I had to have my mind wander away from the worried thoughts that were deluging my brain. Refusing to give up my post, I sat, listening to the everyday sounds that I never gave my attention to. I listened to my father typing confusing gibberish like codes onto his computer; I listened to my mothers stirring spoon kindly tap against the sides of the pot while swirling the pasta; I listened to my cat’s purr; I listened to my dogs snore; I listened to my computer’s hum; but most of all, I listened to the silence of the phone. Only then, after many minutes, the phone rang. I listened for a few seconds before answering. The piercing flickering high-pitched tone had a connotation of two strong emotions: relief and disappointment. As I picked up the receiver, pressed the glowing “ON” button, the ringing ceased, and a rather faint sound of congested breathing of the person on the line attracted my attention.

Luckily, the emotion that came with this phone call was relief.

Listening does not require a relationship with God, nor any other god or higher existence; it is a personal experience and needs no approval. Though “listening in” on a conversation may be forbidden, no one will arrest you for sitting silently, closing your eyes, and paying attention to the sounds of the zooming cars, the gentle laugh of the children playing in the park, the soft chatter of the mothers supervising nearby, the rolling of shopping carts with one wheel that always points left, the sharp barking conversation between neighborhood dogs, the dripping of the rain against your window, the rushing of the river’s water against protruding rocks, the rustling of the leaves on a wise and aged oak tree, or even the silent nothingness of a deserted park. All you need is an interest in a sound.

So the next time you walk down the street, do not just hear the bustling blossoming morning full of life; listen.