Pretending

By: Caitlin
I was five when my mother gave me her old purse. It was reddish-brown leather, falling apart, and probably from the 80’s. I was thrilled. For weeks, I would rush home from kindergarten, thrust my feet through a pair of plastic sparkle heels, pull on an oversized Rapunzel Halloween costume, and strap the purse around my body. I would then proceed to stuff as many random objects as I could into the purse, then find my two-year-old brother so I could cram him in my doll stroller. I would parade around the house in my ridiculous get-up, bursting with pride when I told my mother I was a “lady going to work”. I felt mature, responsible; more powerful. My childhood was based on becoming someone else, whether it was a working mother, or a queen who reigned in a far away land.



At some time in their life, everyone pretends. Pretending could be a child becoming a fire fighter for a day, a family acting like they have enough money to support themselves, or a person smiling after a funeral. The word “pretend” is derived from the French word pretender which is “to lay claim” and from Latin prætendere to “stretch in front, put forward, allege”. In 1697 the sense of “to claim” came from people professing their rights to the crown, and the meaning “to play, make believe” was recorded in 1865.

To me, pretending is not necessarily a “claim” or a sort of lie; it is an escape from current difficulties or the dullness of ordinary life. It is normal for a bored child to create an imaginary world in which he or she might play in all day; however, I have observed that when adults pretend, the results could become disastrous. Take, for example, internet predators. A middle-aged, balding man, clothed in a pungent, sweat-stained button up and tattered shorts hunches over a computer, his hands shaking as they rapidly patter over the key board. The bleak basement around him is a dim cave, in which the only source of light is the glow from his monitor, filled with dialogue in which he poses as a twelve-year-old boy. There is a point in which people have taken pretending much too far, and it becomes something that can hurt others.

Another serious consequence of pretending is the masking of emotion and problems. After a sudden, excruciating loss of a loved one, a relationship gone awry, a diagnosis or a terminal illness, or any painful event, people feel overwhelmed with an emotion they cannot handle. We bundle up the feeling, stuff it in our pockets, throw our pants in the washing machine, and when they come out, soaking wet, we find a ball of fluff in the pocket and throw it out. We try to forget; we pretend to be “over something” and smile. While this is a temporary fix, one day, we will find that the fluff ball we thought we threw out really went under our bed, and there it is, out in the open. So let us not hide behind our pretending, let us not pretend at all in these situations.

However, pretending can also prove useful, and essential. It can provide just the flight of imagination to the fully developed mind that can lead to wonderful new scientific discoveries, great works of literature, and fantastic and entertaining screenplays. Children who spend much of their childhood pretending are likely those who grow up to be society’s thinkers and doers; the pretending could even be considered fuel for what motivates them for the rest of their lives. The more creative one is through pretending, the vaster the expanse of ideas to explore will become. Our society is full of concern about radical behavior; but daydreaming and pretending are not things to hide. As humans, we need to ask ourselves what we can do to contribute to society, and through pretending, the roots of our brilliance can emerge. Remember Shakespeare, a great pretender, who produced fantastic and fanciful plays like no other has ever done. Remember Einstein, who was able to imagine a world in which his mathematical theories could play out. We need to be able to pretend in order to think creatively, otherwise, we will collectively become intellectually dull. Pretend play should be encouraged in children so that there is hope for the future.

So let’s pretend now.

Let’s pretend that we know how to deal with our problems.

Let’s pretend that we can see far into the future, and we can fix the past.

Let’s pretend that people aren’t starving and suffering.

Just for one day, let’s pretend that we’re happy, and we love life.

Because if we don’t pretend, then why are we here on Earth, living? If we can’t believe we are something more, that we can make a difference, then what is our purpose?

So let us keep letting our children pretend to be spacemen or pirates, keep making up characters in our heads, keep thinking that we might be someone better, and that one day we might become successful.

Pretending is what will, in the end, guide us through life.